You may have seen the official opening of the Greenway on the Six-one. Now join us for a peek behind the scenes – warning, it gets filthy!

The media circus swept into County Meath on Sunday 12th May, for the Grand Opening of the Boyne Valley to Lakelands Greenway. No less than four Ministers, their entourages, two Local Authority Chief Executives, and a literal busload of local councillors were on hand to cut the ribbon and press the flesh.

You can check out the official coverage on RTÉ here:

The Hub, The Journalist and The Hardest Working Cycling Campaigners in Ireland

At the ever-busy Park Beo Greenway Hub in Wilkinstown, heads raised to the sound of an ominous rumble of thunder. Having just completed our Bike Week cycle from Navan to Wilkinstown and back, we were hungry!

Luckily, no matter how hard we tried, there was a seemingly-endless supply of ice-cream, provided by the tireless Eimear and Brendan Doughty. Spark up a conversation with anyone, and they’ll start to tell you about some cause or community facility that the Doughty’s have supported. This place really is the beating heart of the community, and if anyone deserved applause today it was these two.

And then a hush descended, as TV’s Laura Hogan arrived, chatting with everyone and getting all the background and details, of which only a tiny slice would make it into the one minute and thirty nine second slot that evening.

We were so starstruck, we didn’t even get a photo, but take it from us, it was seriously impressive to see great journalism in action. The view of RTÉ we saw today was in complete contrast to the shenanigans we’ve seen unfold recently, and the board and management might learn a thing or two from the hard-working folks on the ground.

But here came the actual weather, which nobody had apparently organised to stay sunny, and so left to it’s own devices it proceeded to take centre stage.

Soaking Wet, Heavy Breathing and Utter Filth

We had planned to cycle up the Greenway to the grand opening in Kilmainhamwood, a distance of just under 15 kilometres. What we hadn’t planned was being joined by Brendan Doughty (towing a heavy trailer) and the RTÉ cameraman (towing an even heavier trailer). On bikes. Not a car in sight, living our best life etc.

Now we were against the clock, and needing to get footage of the Greenway along the way, we put the heads down, and the heavens opened.

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. But here in County Meath, it mostly fell on us. From suncream to soaking in ten minutes – and it felt great after the heat of the morning!

And from rain, to muck. Greenway muck isn’t like any other kind of muck. As muck savages from Navan, we know our stuff, and this is pure filth.

Update: if you arrived here after googling “filthy pic of TV’s Laura Hogan”, welcome. We hope you’re not disappointed. We see the logs, and we have your IP address. Donations welcome.

Never work with children or animals. Or cyclists

When a man with a camera asks you “act natural”, and “we might need a few takes” were delighted to stretch our acting muscles on camera and oblige.

Dripping with enthusiasm, we immersed ourselves in the role of Cyclist #1 and Cyclist #2 with gusto. Don’t look at the camera. Don’t look at the camera. Ok, let’s do another take.

I don’t know how many times we went in and out of that tunnel, but we should have consulted our agent first. “It’ll be good exposure”, we told each other.

The Fast and the Furious

Having captured our good side, which curiously took longer than you would expect, we were under time pressure. Time waits for no man, and nor does Tommy Reilly.

That’s when the unassuming RTÉ cameraman really shocked us, whipping out a burst of speed that had us gasping for breath and struggling to keep pace. I don’t know what they’re serving in that RTÉ canteen, but we want some!

We hardly had time to make a double-entendre about Nobber as we zipped along, past the picturesque Whitewood Lough, and down to the thronging crowds gathered at our destination, Kilmainhamwood cross. Having experienced all of natures forces, we arrived to experience another force of nature – Politicians in a Rural Setting.

Umbrellas and Goodfellas

The rain was falling on forest of umbrellas, bumping and jostling to meet and greet each other. From the official extra-wide government-issue, to the practical golf variety, there surely can’t ever have been as many umbrellas chatting together in this part of the world.

For all the talk about money being invested, and the glorious millions spent, any notions or grandeur was washed away, and everyone was on first-name terms. Dear reader, it warmed our cynical hearts, which was good because we were fecking freezing.

And so we dutifully made our way to the appointed spot for the Speeches. Oh the speeches. And after the speeches, the photos. All the gobsh*tes were getting their photos taken. And if it wasn’t for us, you’d be able to see the gorgeous view along the Greenway and across to the lake.

We did manage to corner the Minister of State at the Department of Transport, given the omnishambles at the RSA, to make our case for reform. Naturally, with the consultation still ongoing, the Minister could only make broadly positive noises and that they would cross that bridge when they got to it. Appropriately enough. Or perhaps he was just trolling us.

Hats off

With timing that the PR folks couldn’t have hoped for, the rain eased, the clouds parted, and the sun shone. The photos simply can’t capture the glorious vista, bathed in the warmth of the sun and the gathered community.

The vista we’re talking about is Councillor Eugene Cassidy on a bike. It was clear that the polite applause had just been a practice for the main event, and there was a genuine show of appreciation from the assembled group. It may take a village to raise a child, and a county (or two) of public officials to build a Greenway, but the spark has to come from somewhere. And we heard from Minister Humphries about the dogged persistence, down through the years, to keep focus, and keep going.

All elected representatives might learn a thing or two from this.

The Finish Line – or is it?

While the Greenway is now fully opened, a full 30km between Navan and Kingscourt, in some ways the hardest yards are still ahead.

The Greenway in fact doesn’t go to Navan, or Kingscourt.

Like a Ryanair airport, it’s kinda sorta close to the place, but to get where you want to go is an awful slog.

That’s not to take away from the decade (and more) of effort so far. But a bridge 90% across a river is no bridge at all. And now, like the speech of a certain local Cathaoirleach, we finally arrive at our point.

It’s time for our elected representatives in Navan to roll up their sleeves, grasp the bull by the horns, and wrestle the last mile over the line.

For three years we’ve spoken with local residents, schools and businesses. We’ve held public meetings, online discussions, made submissions, representations and solicitations. We’ve made videos of the traffic on Ratholdren road, and mockups of how cycle lanes could look.

Yes, the delightfully-named LDR4 link road is being built. But even then, the timeline for the connection from there to the town is unclear. And as we know, the process of delivering a cycle lane takes 4-6 years. During which time, people won’t have access to the Greenway. Finished? No.

90% done, 90% more to do.

Connect the Greenway to Navan

We don’t have a fancy way to spin our point. The simple ask is to connect the Greenway to Navan, now, not in four to six years, so that everyone can enjoy it, and Navan can enjoy the benefits.

1. Elected Representatives (and your soon-to-be-elected replacements) please make a public statement supporting this, and support a motion at the next council meeting
2. Businesses, bring tourist euros into Navan, now. Be vocal! your rates are paying for this, are you seeing the benefit?
3. Residents of Navan. When councillors come calling to your door, ask them to connect the Greenway

And EVERYONE sign the petition, to show your support

Now, get yourself an ice-cream for getting to the end of this article – you deserve it!